Not Pregnant Still

My period started very early this cycle (day 26 instead of day 29), so I am still not pregnant. Starting cycle 3 now – first LH test in a week or so.

It is funny how one reads into little things when one is waiting like this. I was okay at ignoring the little things this time (the ones that had also happened last cycle), but a new symptom happened this cycle – I had sore boobs. From about day 8 post-insemination. Implantation can apparently happen from day 6 to day 12, so I started thinking maybe that (plus feeling a little dizzy on occasion, plus other symptoms I had last time too) meant that I was pregnant this time. I even started composing in my head how I would write about it on this blog…

Then on day 11 post-insemination, I felt a twinge in my abdomen. It was probably just a pulled muscle or something, but seeing as I had spotting the next day and my period started the day after (with extra volume and more cramping than I have had in a while, and three days early), my mind is saying that maybe an implantation occurred a day or so before I got sore boobs, but I miscarried. However, my (other?) mind is saying that it really was probably a pulled muscle, and the period was just randomly shittier than usual. Also, would I really feel a miscarriage that early? My second mind says probably not.

I think this is one of the most frustrating aspects of going through this – the not knowing what is going on with my own body. For two weeks at a time! I am a person who likes to know what is happening and control what I can control, so I read hope in the little things. So yeah. Frustrating.

Both of these cycles, my period has started before the blood test is scheduled. Meaning that both times I have been uncertain whether I should still get the test. The first time, I still had it done, but I don’t think I will this time (although I have called Fertility Associates to see what they say about it), as the bleeding was so heavy this time, implying no pregnancy. But one does read about women who have normal periods throughout their pregnancy… When FA call me back, I think I will ask whether the blood test they do to measure LH levels (in a week) includes a pregnancy test as well, just in case.

****

UPDATE: I just got a message from the nurse at FA, and she said that I should still do the blood test tomorrow morning, as scheduled, just in case this is one of those cases where bleeding happens despite pregnancy. So now I have to drive out to Mt Wellington in the wee hours of a Sunday morning – yay. But still – better to know for sure.

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