Semantics

I have been thinking this morning about that thing I said in the last post (that all this was worth it “I think”), and how it could be misconstrued as “I am unsure that this is all worth it, but on the whole I think it is”, when really what I meant was to emphasize “I”, as in “I think it is worth it, others may not”. Having thought obsessively about it, I have decided that I should have said “I believe”, if I didn’t want to fully write out the explanation.

Hey guys – I like to over-explain stuff!

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In other news, I did a pee test this morning (3 days early, but it was the First Response one that says it picks things up <6 days before the period is due; admittedly, hormone levels would still need to be high enough so a false negative is totally possible). It was negative. Which is not so surprising, given my pre-period spotting started yesterday afternoon.

The annoying thing about this is that I had just started allowing myself to hope: I had been rather neutral about my chances up until yesterday morning, but I had hella hot flushes during the night before, and I googled it when I woke up – that is a potential sign of pregnancy, especially at night. I hadn’t had that the first two times. Plus I still had nausea, but that is unreliable, as I am prone to nausea anyway, and it doesn’t normally start until 6 weeks into a pregnancy. So anyway – I thought “maybe this is it!” and then a few hours later I started spotting. I don’t think it is implantation spotting, either. I doubt I will get that, when it finally does happen.

So. The blood test is on Wednesday (in 3 days), but I am almost 100% certain that I am not pregnant.

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This is starting to feel a little repetitive. Well, it definitely is for me, but I mean this blog, for you, Reader. I hope it is still useful to anyone planning on/currently going through this… I am planning on trying to find interesting links to things to spice this blog up, but I don’t know if that will happen as often as I would like. I guess you, Other Readers Who Are Family Members/Friends, may still be getting stuff out of this at least – getting updates on the latest in my attempts.

And of course I will report any changes in treatment that I get – I have one more round of IUI, likely with clomiphene, I assume at the same dosage (seeing as I ovulated so nicely this time), and then I see the doctor again for another consultation. I don’t know what he will suggest then – it might be hopping straight to IVF, or maybe another round of clomiphene-IUI (the clomiphene prescribing information says to try three times and then move on), or maybe trying other ovulation-stimulating drugs but continuing with IUI for a few more cycles. I might ask if there is a possibility of upping the clomiphene dosage so that I ovulate from both ovaries, increasing the chance of fertilization (and, admittedly, the chance of twins). But I assume they won’t want to risk ovarian hyperstimulation…

I am almost hoping for IVF – it does have really good success rates, and I have a feeling my ovaries will be productive (my AMH level was high for my age when I had it tested), so I might get a few tries out of the one cycle. But my fear is that if the first cycle doesn’t work I won’t have anywhere near enough money to try a second cycle. At least for a while, until I have saved it.

I am hoping that, if all this fails, and if I run out of money before 12 months is up (12 months is the number of tries a single, fertile woman has to have before she gets public funding for IVF), the fact that I have polycystic ovaries will bump me up the scoreboard for the public funding, so I don’t actually have to try 12 times. But they can’t assess that yet. I will ask the doctor when I see him, if the next try doesn’t work.

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WordPress spellchecker really doesn’t like medical terms. Shocker.

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